All parents find themselves, at one time or another, struggling with an angry child. Whether crises are recurrent or transient, they are rarely easy to manage and always occur at the right time.
Here are some tips that can help you guide your little ones … while keeping you calm!
1. Keep calm and do not pay too much attention to crises:
When their children lose their temper, many parents tend to lose patience themselves. This is normal, since mood swings often occur during more sensitive moments of the day or week, when the child (like his parents!) Is tired or exhausted. When the seizure occurs, stand back, change rooms in the house, continue with routine activities, and give the child as little attention as possible.
2. Help him to name the emotion he feels:
The smaller the child, the less words he has to express what he feels. A great charge of anger can overwhelm the child who tries repeatedly to be understood or to pass a message, without success. When he has calmed down or is about to do so, you can help him put words on his frustration. “Are you angry because you can not finish your puzzle? “Your brother took your toy away and you did not like it? It is by learning to identify and naming the sources of her frustration that the child will, with practice, better identify and communicate them.
3. Teach him to express his frustration with words, not gestures:
Very often upset by one’s own emotions of anger, the child will sometimes tend to hit or throw objects and this is one of the most common problems teens face today. Make it very clear to him that you will not accept any acts of violence on his part, and if he persists, make him understand that his actions will have consequences. If he knows that you are letting go of any aggressive gesture, he may reproduce it rather than try to calm down to get what he wants.
4. Show him how to recognize the warning signs of anger:
To learn how to manage anger, you must first recognize that you are angry. Whether they are physical, psychological or behavioral, there are several signs that can alert your child to the anger rising in him, and by learning to identify and recognize them, he / she can, with the learning of the word, verbalize them. rather than letting them invade it.
5. Teach him how to calm down:
Once your child has learned to recognize the angry warning signals, you can then show him some simple tips that will help him calm down, or at least master it. Depending on his age, you can guide him by teaching him basic techniques in relaxation (there are relaxation discs for children), breathing, concentration or ways to let off steam (a “battle” of balls). snow or drawing and putting on paper his anger, for example). The use of these methods will allow him to get out of the negative emotion in order to move more quickly to something else.
6. Encourage him to interpret certain situations correctly:
Sometimes, the child interprets certain external gestures or behaviors as hostile to him, which can cause anger without foundation. If he is old enough to explain what caused him this reaction, it is good to return to it by helping him identify the real causes of his anger, rather than the apparent causes (“you are angry because that you lost your soccer game and not because I forbid you to watch TV before dinner? “) In this way, he learns to circumscribe the real foundations of his crises, which allows him to rationalize them and to act upon them when the real causes are represented.
7. Reinforce positive and desirable behaviors:
While ignoring your child’s temper tantrums, tell them what behaviors you like. If you see that he is about to get angry but has mastered himself, do not hesitate to congratulate him and give him your full attention.
8. Intervene and keep in touch after the crisis:
Even if you put your child in punishment during the crisis, it is important to return to him when he has calmed down, to show him that he remains a being worthy of attention, and that his anger does not make him less friendly. By explaining to him that it is not him, but his behavior that you reprobate, he will avoid depreciating himself while understanding that he has an interest in behaving in a more acceptable way if he wants to avoid being behind again .
9. Teach him to manifest emotional reactions in a more acceptable form than tantrums:
Your child may react with a temper tantrum whenever he gets angry, frustrated, irritated or upset by something or someone. It must be taught to have more acceptable reactions. Take the necessary measures to prevent him from committing an aggressive act, for example, tearing a toy away from one of his comrades. Put your arm around him and explain that you understand his reaction to the situation. Say for example: “I know you’re angry that you do not have this toy. ”
10. Encourage autonomy:
Preschoolers become more and more independent as they grow up and need to be given the opportunity to assert that autonomy. A child will be less likely to react by having a crisis if he is given the opportunity to fend for himself to meet certain needs